I’m a huge Paramore fan. If you don’t recognize that name, it’s a rock band. You definitely recognize the song names “Still Into You,” “Hard Times” and possibly even “Ain’t It Fun.” 

Listen to that last one. It’s all about growing up and experiencing the real world, just like our friends in Bethel University sports. Teams are hitting the road to see every part of Minnesota, and even some of Wisconsin and Illinois. Conference play arrived for men’s and women’s soccer as well as football, and it’s less than a week away for volleyball. I’m sure the first CWC test is coming soon too. 

Things are getting real. And everyone seems to be succeeding, for the most part. 

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Football (2-0, 1-0): Another trademark win for McElroy, Duling and Co. 

O.K. I admit it. I couldn’t commit to traveling so far on my Saturday to see the game at Gustavus Adolphus College in-person.

For that reason, I’ll keep my analysis short. 

The Royals dismantled the Gusties 41-7 after just mustering a field goal in the first quarter. They held a 31-0 lead by the time Gustavus scored. 

Junior linebacker Jake Borman is thriving in his new position. And he does it with such pure joy and energy. Like your dog when you have lots of people over and he doesn’t know what to do, so he just runs from person to person. Everyone feels his presence. Another eight tackles puts him at 14 on the season – ninth in the MIAC for this young season. Plus, his 1.5 sacks last week still stand as good enough for first in the conference. 

This week was (redshirt) junior running back David Geebli’s turn to shine on the ground. 13 carries for 107 yards did the job in a lethal offense that relies equally on the run and the pass. For example, when the Gusties begin committing to a red-hot rushing attack, Royals’ offensive coordinator Colin Duling opens up the passing game, where junior quarterback Cooper Drews fires screen passes and deep balls alike all over the field. 

In this particular game, Drews threw 37 passes and completed 23 of them. His 291 passing yards and four touchdown passes outmatched Gustavus’ 124 passing yards and one passing touchdown between three quarterbacks. I guess they were equal in having one interception, though. 

Senior Bethel safety Devin Williams, converted from cornerback to take Matt “Division I” Jung’s place, snagged his first interception of the year late in the first quarter. 

I tossed and turned all offseason wondering who Drews would throw to this year, and we have our answer. Last year’s dominant trio of receivers in Joey Kidder, Micah Niewald and Will Eliason, all of whom graduated, is officially back in the form of juniors Alex Weiss, former quarterback Albert Rundell and game one hero Tyler Terry.

Bethel has one more week to refine, tweak and touch up the gameplan at Hamline before St. John’s University comes back to Arden Hills for the biggest game of the year. 

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Volleyball (6-6, 0-0): Five-win streak silences haters (me)

Yeah, they’re back. If you didn’t read my thoughts on the team last week, don’t check now. Just read this. 

I know I’m dramatic, but I was deeply scared for this team after I watched its performance here versus the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. Since then, the Royals have gone on the road to Rock Island, Ill. and Steven’s Point, Wisc. and won five matches in a row. In fact they only lost two sets in those five games. 

Junior middle blocker Peyton Howie, dominant last year, continued to lead this young Royals squad in its streak. She’s averaging 14.2 kills per match in the last five games with a combined hitting percentage of .420. Her 18 kills versus Lakeland University Saturday is a season high. 

Freshman setter Sophia Rubio hit a bit of a slump in her assist numbers following the Eau Claire loss, but in two games Saturday put up 48 and 47 assists. 

Head coach Gretchen Hunt told me earlier this week junior setter Ellie Van Namen’s foot injury was a significant factor in the early struggles. Hunt gameplanned all pre-season with Van Namen in the starting lineup, so throwing a freshman in the last minute made adjustments difficult. With Rubio’s performance as of late, however, it might be even more difficult to bring Van Namen back into the rotation after her injury. 

Sophomore outside hitter Hannah Penke also set a season high in kills with 15 Saturday against the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. With conference play beginning Friday against St. Olaf, Penke is a key factor in keeping the Royals rolling. Her versatility at all positions gives her more time on the court, so an uptick in those numbers is encouraging. 

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Men’s soccer (6-0-2, 2-0): Swanda hat trick lifts Royals to powerful conference start

O.K., now I’m paying attention. When friend of Double Coverage and former Royals captain Will Swanda joined the podcast, he pumped out quotes like an old-timey small-town high school football coach. 

And he did the same thing when I interviewed him following the Royals’ 5-2 loss versus Carleton College in the first round of the playoffs last season. 

“We’re just setting the table for them to dine, and they’ve got a whole meal to get after,” Swanda said. 

He was referring to the young players on the roster. Last season was historic for the Royals, who made the playoffs for the second time in program history and hosted a playoff game for the first time. Swanda saw this season as the next opportunity for those young players to carry the success further. 

Of the 14 Bethel players who have started a game this season, four are sophomores and three of them have played over 600 minutes. They’re getting after their meal.

Swanda isn’t around to see it after graduating, but his brother, Ryan, a senior, is living it. 

Wednesday, the Royals opened conference play at home against St. Mary’s University, and in an instant classic, Bethel came back from a 2-0 deficit to defeat the Cardinals 4-3. Three of the Royals’ goals came off the foot of Ryan, who took three total shots. For those counting, that means he didn’t miss. 

Then Ryan, typically a defender, took another shot Saturday at St. John’s University and scored again in the Royals’ 3-1 win. His season point total is now nine, surpassing his previous high of eight his freshman year.  

Don’t miss the upcoming Double Coverage episode, where I’ll grill Ryan on all things Bethel soccer and what he anticipates for the rest of the season. The team gets a well-earned week off before playing at Concordia College Saturday. 

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Women’s soccer (0-7-2, 0-2): Is this year a rebuild? 

So often the easiest story in sports comes when freshmen play immediately and contribute. It’s a feel-good story. We’re seeing it develop in volleyball this year and we saw it happen last year. 

Women’s soccer is sort of the inverse. Freshmen are playing and they’re contributing, but it’s a lot to expect out of such young talent. 

Freshman Eleanor Rundell (sister of the aforementioned former-quarterback-turned-receiver Albert) leads the team with 720 minutes, tied with senior Anna Sukle. Another freshman, Ahna Haugo is right behind them with 639. 

And unfortunately, none of this is translating to wins. The Royals went scoreless in their two conference-opening games against St. Mary’s and the College of St. Benedict.  

It’s a big ask for freshmen to make the transition from home to college, learn the class schedule and routine and then expect them to compete and perform regularly at an NCAA level. With a large graduating class last year, and some key injuries this year (see Kvant and Sievert in last week’s column), this team looks much different. They’re still learning each other. 

So let’s give it some time. They need it. At the risk of sounding cliché,  I just hope they’re having fun while doing it. 

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As always, thanks for sticking around. The real season is here, and ain’t it fun? I’m excited to keep watching sports this season. But also, don’t take anything too seriously. Play some Gang Beasts with your friends. Talk and laugh way too loudly in the Grill. Join in if you hear me doing the same (it happens a lot). Have a great week, Royals. 

Love y’all.