When Andrew Kirzeder walked into Pietas Seminar 1 at 8 a.m. on the first day of his freshman year at Bethel University, he was not expecting the girl he sat by to become the woman he would spend the rest of his life with. 

Through mutual friends in the same dorm, helping with a printer issue and an interim filled with time together, Andrew found himself falling for Brianna Mutterer. Two and a half years later, she took his last name.

“I was pretty determined not to get married in college, actually,” Brianna said. “But I’m glad I did.”

Andrew and Brianna took the next step in their relationship while still enrolled in undergraduate courses at Bethel and got married before finishing their degrees.

Although many Bethel juniors and seniors say they see couple after couple getting engaged filling their Instagram feeds, a Campus Life survey conducted in 2018 found that only 2.8% of students were actually married before graduation. The idea of the “ring by spring” phenomenon describes the pressure felt by Christian college students to be engaged before the spring of their senior year. 

In 1953, The Clarion ran a story titled “Students Plan 21 Weddings During June, July and August,” in which an extensive list of upcoming Bethel students’ weddings was published, including the students’ names, date of the wedding and location. In the 1930s, The Clarion used to print recent Bethel alumni weddings, as well as those who had started families and what they were currently up to career-wise. In the early 2000s, a property called Fountain Terrace acted as Bethel’s married housing for students who tied the knot before graduation.

“Ring by spring” isn’t just a Bethel thing – colleges across the U.S., mostly with Christian religious affiliation, see students feeling pressured to find “the one” before their time in undergrad is up. Although not all of the couples that get engaged met in college, the precedent of getting married young is prevalent. President Ross Allen and his wife Annie were also part of the married population during their time at Bethel, getting married June 13, 1981, three years before Ross graduated in 1984. 

Jammin and Shelby Kate Christopher-Henry had been together for four years before deciding that marriage was the logical next step for their relationship. 

In Malawi, Africa on a mission trip for their church in 2019, Jammin and Shelby Kate met in the break room of a hospital while volunteering with CURE International and swapped life stories with no expectations of a future together. In fact, the first thing that Jammin had shared with the mission group was that he thought he would die like Paul from the Bible – never married, pursuing Christ as a single man.

Shortly after meeting, he was dating Shelby Kate. 

After a year of dating, Jammin packed up his belongings and moved to St. Paul to attend Bethel, enduring a year of long distance as Shelby Kate finished her senior year of high school. The next August, Shelby Kate was moving into Nelson Hall, and their time apart was over.

Following four and a half years of building a “Christ-centered relationship,” they were hiking to their wedding ceremony destination in Crested Butte, Colorado, with close friends, family and the Rocky Mountains as witnesses.

“There was a lot of prayer and just seeking guidance from the Lord on it,” Shelby Kate said. “I think it was pretty clear to both of us that the timeline we were looking at – and ended up doing – was what we were supposed to do.”

Like Jammin and Shelby Kate having thorough conversations about marriage, the Kirzeders decided in the spring of their junior year that getting married before graduation was the best course of action for them. 

Andrew’s family was initially unsure about the commitment of marriage for the couple. Having seen Andrew infrequently throughout their time dating, they didn’t know Brianna well and were hesitant to be supportive – but after a month and a half of conversations, they came around. 

Brianna’s parents had always been supportive. They had a similar experience in college and were in no place to judge. Her parents tied the knot when her mom was a junior at University of Northwestern, and welcomed Brianna into the world before her mom’s senior year.

In April, Andrew popped the question, and they walked down the aisle as a married couple just three months later in July. 

Despite being warned about the challenges of a short engagement, the pair joked that wedding planning felt like a full-time job on top of a full-time job as college students. After price shopping with photographers, sending more emails than expected and picking out flowers from Costco, Andrew and Brianna put together their wedding for just under 90 guests on a Sunday – the cheapest day to book a venue. 

“If you’re picky, then it’s going to be hard,” Brianna said. “But my mom always said, if the most important thing about your wedding day is that you’re getting married – easy.” 

For Shelby Kate and Jammin, planning a wedding in Colorado while finishing their junior year at Bethel in Minnesota brought its own set of challenges. Although studying for an exam or two during the school year may have put short pauses in the wedding planning process, the couple set monthly goals for themselves to hit during their 13-month engagement.

Jammin’s parents dedicated their time to DIY projects like regulation-size cornhole boards and the wooden cross that the couple used in their unity ceremony. 

Shelby Kate’s parents made the four-hour drive from their house in Colorado Springs to the ceremony and reception areas in Crested Butte, helping to scope out what would become the aisle for the ceremony near Lake Irwin. 

“Part of the challenge, too, just came from that last year was one of the toughest years in my life personally, and so trying to plan a wedding during that time added a different kind of spin on wedding planning,” Jammin said. 

Before they vowed to love each other in sickness and in health, constant support – physically and emotionally – was a huge part of their relationship. Shelby Kate didn’t hesitate to sacrifice her time to be patient with Jammin during difficult seasons of life, and to be present during nights of tears. 

Expecting challenges between academics, friends and taking care of their apartment, Brianna and Andrew were pleasantly surprised to find what used to be “in between” moments becoming time together. While still figuring out how to balance their lives, open and honest conversations have been a priority.

“You might have the expectation of, ‘I’ve got all this time with this person now,’” Andrew said. “The reality is, yes, that time is there, but you filled up that time with a lot of things you didn’t think about.” 

They often set aside time to cook together, go on walks, double dates and complete household chores together. Now each of them only has to clean half of the dishes and fold half of the laundry because they agree that “everything’s better together.”

When Andrew and Brianna’s days line up on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they can start the day together on campus with similar class times. Otherwise they have independent schedules. 

If Jammin has a class or commitment at 9 a.m. but Shelby Kate doesn’t have anything scheduled until noon, both of them will be at campus by nine. They decided to share a car to save money on gas, but have found the four-minute drive each morning and afternoon time to decompress and debrief their time spent apart.

They also have matching bedtimes. Every night before bed they sit together and read their Bibles separately.

“It’s just this really neat opportunity before we go to bed every night to commune with God and listen to God, and what God is doing in our lives,” Jammin said. “We still get to do that together, even though we’re not reading the same thing.”

The ebb and flow of life as a college student can be exhausting, but Jammin and Shelby Kate have prepared a space to get away from that in their marriage for this final year of school.

Sunday is their Sabbath, a day of rest in a variety of ways. They sleep in – Jammin sometimes past noon – and enjoy a day of recuperation with no plans.

Sometimes they take up cleaning tasks, like shampooing their living room chair that they thrifted from Goodwill for 10 dollars, or opt for reading or watching a movie to relax, like finishing “The Hobbit” series. This intentional time together has been a way to keep their relationship grounded.

Jammin and Shelby Kate knew they would be reducing their time spent on campus after getting married and commuting, including reducing commitments at Bethel like Student Ministries, where Jammin was the executive director last year. Although they have distanced themselves a bit, the couple still knows the importance of having friends outside of each other – even if time spent with those friends no longer looks like trips to Taco Bell at 1 a.m.

Gone are the days of spontaneously inviting friends over to their all-boys or all-girls dorm suites, replaced with Shelby Kate reminding Jammin to eat breakfast and checking each other’s Google calendars.

“I can’t just invite people over or just go for a drive with someone or something like that, because I have another human that I get to partner with,” Jammin said. “It’s a really neat thing, and it takes a lot more energy, but I think it’s more meaningful to get together with people.”

Andrew and Brianna have also recognized the increased challenge of finding time to spend with friends, but have similarly embraced the change. Now that they are each other’s “default” person instead of their past roommates. Less of those “default” moments with friends just means seeking out meaningful time with them in other ways.

When contemplating getting married before graduation the pair worried about missing out on the opportunity to have a final year with friends. They quickly realized this year would be different – Andrew’s friends were splitting up between two dorms or living off campus, and they wouldn’t all be living with each other as seniors, anyway. 

Once they realized the things holding them back weren’t going to happen, the decision to get married was easy.

“If you’re already at the point of wanting to marry someone, you already know that they’re more important to you than almost anything else. So why would you wait on that commitment?” Brianna said. “It’s something really special that the most important person in your life is with you, and why would you prevent them from having the role that they’re going to take?”

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For other couples looking to be in their shoes, Andrew and Brianna advise hard reflection to think about what they truly want and to pursue that. Shelby Kate and Jammin have a similar view. 

Seeking guidance from others and from God and not succumbing to social pressures are the biggest things that they advise for those thinking of getting married in college. Releasing the pressure of a feeling like there is a relationship timeline to follow was the largest piece of advice – every couple is different, Shelby Kate added.

“Don’t feel like there is a culture of ring by spring,” Jammin said.

In the next five years, Jammin and Shelby Kate see themselves in graduate school, pursuing a Masters of Divinity and degree in clinical psychology, respectively. They seek to focus on time together as a married couple while furthering their education, as well as establishing a strong financial foundation before eventually moving back to Colorado and starting a family close to their parents. 

Right now, with their on-campus jobs as TAs, Shelby Kate as a PCA and Jammin working in the Underground, they reserve going out to eat for once a semester and have furnished their apartment with mostly things from their registry – with the exception of a few thrifted items and the textbooks on their bookshelves. 

Andrew and Brianna also see themselves in graduate school, as Andrew hopes to pursue law school after a gap year post-grad. As they plant their roots in Minnesota, the couple hopes for a comfortable life together. 

After taking some money out of savings to pay for a wedding, money was a little tight at first, but federal financial aid as a married couple was beneficial to balance their budget. Both couples look forward to continuing to overcome both the highs and lows of being married while finishing their senior year at Bethel with their significant others by their side.