If there is anything I have learned from this year, it’s this: I really have no right to complain about school. Ever. Sure, I write a lot of papers and I have to speak in front of people. But never have I ever spent 13 hours trying to complete a task on ALEKS — the online tutoring program — or spent days studying in the library for a chemistry exam. However, I’ve lived with someone who has, and that makes me an expert. Here’s my best free advice on how to live with a biokinetics major.
If you can’t find her, she’s in the library
There have been so many unanswered phone calls. So many game nights where we look around and wonder, “Where’s Aubrey?” When in doubt, she’s in the library. Thursday night at 8:55? Library. Tuesday morning at 10:15? Library. Monday during chapel time when they turn the lights off? Library. Sitting at a four-person table on the second floor, in the back between the book cases, is where you’ll find her.
And when you see her, approach her slowly — because she’s losing her mind. Ask her calmly how she’s doing and offer her a hug. But be cautious, because the only interaction she’s had all day is with the teacher in her YouTube videos. If she asks you to sit with her while she studies, you say yes. But under no circumstances do you ever talk, or you will no longer be asked to sit with her. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
Eat supper in the dorm
Sometimes, the days slip away and before you know it, it’s 7 p.m. and the DC is closed. And being a broke college student, what do you do? Make chicken nuggets in the air fryer or eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s easy, and it doesn’t take too much time away from studying. While you eat, consider turning on an episode of “Gilmore Girls” to have a nice brain break. Or take the opportunity to talk about her day, because who knows when you’ll get another chance? Meals are always a good time to get her out of her room and away from her desk. It’s a good breather for both of you. I promise.
Work out when she can … even if that’s at 7 a.m.
The days get long and afternoons get busy. If you wait until the end of the day to ask her to work out, you’ll be working out alone. So if you want to have a partner during your run, you go when it’s most convenient. Even if that means waking up at 6:50 a.m. But it’s a good way to start your day and wake up. She needs to get those endorphins flowing so she can start her day in a good mood. And honestly, you do too. Make sure your AirPods are charged and your shoes are comfortable. A good country playlist is always the move, especially when summer is right around the corner. I know this rule might not be everyone’s favorite, but in the end it proves to be the most beneficial.
Hang out with her on off-weeks
Exams are the worst, but two exams in one week is an absolute nightmare. The reward is the weeks (though they are far and few) when she doesn’t have any exams. Take advantage of those weeks. Play tennis at a nearby park. Drive around and blast Megan Moroney, screaming the lyrics to “Sleep on My Side.” Go to church with her. Use the buy-one-get-one free rewards at Dairy Queen. Eat a Cookie Dough Peanut Butter Party Blizzard while you watch the sunset on Lake Valentine. Have a movie night rewatching your favorite romcom — a classic is “10 Things I Hate About You.” Or host a game night and invite all of your friends over to play Secret Hitler. Spend as much time with her as possible, you’ll miss her on test weeks.
Make an intramural basketball team
This is my favorite one, and it’s proven to work the best. She will never say no to playing basketball. Ever. So get a group of friends together, call yourselves “The Benchwarmers” and spend 30 minutes every Thursday night playing other washed-up high school basketball players. It’s the best brain break and it puts everyone in a good mood. Except if we lose — that’s a whole other story. But in all seriousness, this is the best piece of advice I can give you. It’s even better when she’s really good because then you can use the excuse of “We will lose without you.” I guarantee she’ll show up every time.
After a full year of living with her, I’m getting the hang of it. I’m proud of her for sticking with it because she’s doing something I could never do: becoming an occupational therapist. Next year will be tough, but we can get through it. But I think I speak for both of us when I say ALEKS is the worst boyfriend ever.
