Nate Holder stood in one of the back rows of Benson Great Hall as the United Worship team played their instruments to Maverick City’s “Firm Foundation.” He was amazed to see all the students around him coming together to worship. Before being invited that Sunday night to Vespers by a friend, Holder wasn’t 100% sure that college was back on the table. But as those around him sang, he could see the effect music had — it gave peace. His mind began to change about school.
Holder, a 27-year-old sophomore transfer student, is majoring in voice performance with a minor in psychology. Holder has enjoyed music ever since he was five, learning how to play piano by ear. He has always been a people person, and both of these passions have shaped many of his decisions — especially his college plans.
After high school, Holder attended three schools: Grace University in Omaha, Nebraska; Landmark Baptist in Haines City, Florida; and Maranatha Baptist University in Watertown, Wisconsin. At each school Holder struggled with finding a community and felt out of place, causing him to take a year off to think about his future. During this gap year, he worked at Camp Chetek in Wisconsin for a summer and met preacher Floyd Lunde, who needed a youth pastor.
Once camp was finished, Holder packed up his belongings and moved to Cameron, Wisconsin, to start his position as the youth and assistant pastor for First Baptist Church in Marion.
Holder took the youth group to youth conferences, ran Vacation Bible School and would have them over for game nights. He was also the right-hand man for the pastor and was able to learn about the importance of having an open ear to those in his congregation.
“In the church circle, there’s a lot of judgment,” Holder said. “Especially with the youth. A lot of them don’t feel comfortable telling the youth pastor things because they’re afraid of being ripped apart.”
Holder was able to become close to the young people of his church and still keeps contact with some of them today. But as time went on, he felt that he could do more. He wanted to share God’s love with a wider audience. He wanted to reach everyone — youth, married couples, older people — and he wanted to do it through music.
After his Vespers visit, Holder showed up with a mix of upperclassman transfers, freshmen and PSEO students for Bethel’s 2022 Winter Welcome. As his group was shown around campus, Holder was eager to ask the questions everyone was too nervous to ask. He wanted to meet as many people as he could, including Associate Dean for Campus Engagement Nate Gustafson.
“A lot of the time when you’re in those leadership roles, you’re pouring a lot of yourself out, but at times it’s hard to have people pour into you,” Gustafson said. “And so knowing the connections he could make here and the significant investment people would make in him … I was like, ‘OK, this will really connect with the heart and what you’re looking for.’”
During his down time, Holder always seems to find himself walking toward the choir room. There sits a familiar grand piano, where Holder takes a seat on the bench and runs his fingers down the 88 keys. His eyes are closed as he plays songs from memory, filling the room with loud, precise notes and feeling perfect.
“I love doing it,” Holder said. “It’s a way I can worship God, and I feel like there’s so many people hurting out in the world, so hopefully my music can lead them to God and also put them at peace with their life.”
Holder now felt pulled to pursue music, but how? Questions began to swarm his head:
Should I do music as a full-time job?
Should I write my own music?
Should I join something that deals with music?
Along with the questions came lots of time in prayer.
Holder soon realized he should learn to play piano by notes, not just by ear, so that he could compose his own music — music that made others feel perfect too. He was able to say yes to Bethel and became a student while keeping his position as a full-time youth pastor.
Holder had to juggle classes, homework and his church duties his first few months at Bethel. He struggled with being present for those in his church. He still lived in Wisconsin, making his drive to school an hour and a half every day. After a day full of school, he’d come back home and would have to plan church activities weeks in advance. It was a lot.
After talking to mentors, parents and God, Holder realized that the best solution was to leave his position as a pastor and let himself be a student full-time.
Holder walked into men’s choir practice for the first time, after stepping down from his pastoral role. With one sweep over the group of men, Holder could tell that he was the oldest guy there. Once it was time to sing, the fact became even more obvious. As the choir harmonized, Holder — and everyone else — could hear his voice. Strong, clear, mature. Holder knew with all his past experience in music that his voice would be different from the others, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward and out of place.
It didn’t take long for the others in the choir to meet Holder and become drawn to him. People like Mason Rediger, another music major, helped Holder find his place and become comfortable.
“He’s really good about connecting with people and finding common ground,” Rediger said. “So it doesn’t feel like he’s this older, youth pastor type of person. He matches people’s energy pretty well.”
Holder no longer sees his age gap as a problem. At times it even helps him become closer to his friends.
For example, recently Holder had a friend who spilled everything to him. He was struggling with what he wanted to do in school. He was a nursing major, but was that really the best decision for him? Should he do something else?
Holder understood the feeling.
He made sure his friend knew that figuring out the big stuff takes time and that going to God in prayer is the best first step you can take.
Now Holder walks down the hallways of Bethel with a smile, feeling at home.
