The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

Hotlist: Goldfish crackers


The short and semi-sweet report on what’s hot and what’s not. 

Rachel Blood | News Reporter

Coming into Bethel as a journalism major, I was told that I’d be diving headfirst into hard topics and pressing societal issues, but I didn’t expect it to be so difficult. This week, I was faced with reporting on one of the most controversial topics facing society today… goldfish crackers.


If nostalgia was a flavor, it would be flavor-blasted cheddar goldfish. They’re addicting and mind-blowingly satisfying. Does anyone else remember eating them right out of the bag while watching Phineas and Ferb?


We know the colors all taste the same, but the same is true for Skittles. They’re still a classic and I’ll defend them until the day I die. 


Not too messy, not too intense– the perfect middle ground.


It’s not that they taste horrible, but Goldfish should stick to crackers. If I really wanted pretzels, I’d hit up Ace for some Dot’s.


Pizza belongs on pizza, not anything else.

COLDEST: VANILLA CUPCAKEGoldfish are crackers. Crackers. Whoever tried to make them into a dessert instead of a savory snack needs to check themselves.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover
About the Contributor
Rachel Blood, Copy Editor
Rachel Blood, 22, is a senior English literature/writing and journalism double major with minors in creative writing and graphic design. She likes getting excited over clothes with pockets, watching her to-be-read pile grow violently out of control and showing everyone pictures of her dog (whether they like it or not). [email protected] | 651.600.7757

Comments (0)

All The Clarion Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *