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The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

How to live with an athlete

Savannah Danz

I have lived with a basketball player for seven months and 22 days, and I’ve decided that makes me an expert. Here is my best free advice on how to successfully live with an athlete.

Don’t schedule anything on Saturday afternoons. 

This is my first tip, and probably the most important. When you commit to living with a basketball player, your Saturdays will be spent sitting on the awkward and uncomfortable wooden bleachers of the Robertson Center Gym. You will be surrounded by parents who have had years of experience yelling at referees who are blind. And yes — all of them are blind. 

But you go anyway, because it means the world to her when you are cheering her on. And you pay attention. Take notes on the amount of charges she got, watch the way she played defense and her aggressiveness. These are all things you can compliment her on at the end of the game. And that’s another thing: Stay until the end of the game. Give her a hug and tell her she did great, win or lose.

Savannah Danz

Be prepared for post-game and post-practice debriefs. 

This could take anywhere from five minutes to one hour. I suggest you move a really comfy chair to her room because after a while, the ground gets uncomfortable. And maybe bring a snack, because you never know how long it will take. But bring extra – because she will undoubtedly be hungry and ask you for some too. Pro-tip: a Chick-fil-A run is always a good idea when practice gets done after the DC closes. She’ll want a number one meal with root beer and Chick-fil-A sauce. Once her hunger is cured, she’ll realize that practice wasn’t as bad as she originally thought. 

Shower before she comes home. 

If you want any chance at taking the first shower, you should plan hours in advance. Usually, I plan to shower before she gets home or else I never know when I’ll get the chance. But also, you want the shower to be available because she might’ve run eight full-court sprints, and that means she smells. So for your sake, leave the shower open. And always have extra deodorant — cool water lily-scented for sensitive skin.  

Make basketball your life. 

If basketball isn’t already a main part of your life, it will be now. Be prepared to have Caitlyn Clark on the TV whenever Iowa is playing. Stay in the know for all things college basketball because you will definitely be making a March Madness Bracket. I have North Carolina winning because I’ve picked them since I was eight years old. I have a feeling this will be their year. Also, make sure you know the right lingo so you can shock your roommate by saying things like,“You had really nice movement in the paint.” That one is always a classic. 

Cheer like your life depends on it. 

Make signs, wear the merch, pack the stands and get rowdy. Stand up when she gets an and-one, even if you are the only one yelling. Scream her name as loud as possible every time she re-enters the game. A good rule of thumb is that if your voice isn’t gone by the end of the game, you’re doing it wrong. Hang up posters in your room on game days, repost highlight reels on your Instagram story, blast “Pretty Boy Swag” on your speaker and convince all your friends to come to the games. 

Be proud to live with her, because someday you won’t get to yell from the stands, “That’s my roomie!” as she runs onto the court. 

At the end of the day, having a basketball player as a roommate is pretty stellar. And in exchange for my blood, sweat and tears over the past four months, she coaches my intramural basketball team — so we’re even.

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About the Contributor
Taylor Hanson, Sports Editor
Taylor Hanson, 19, is a sophomore organizational communications major with a journalism minor. Taylor is involved at Bethel as a Shift leader and as the Director of Intramurals. She loves finding coffee shops tucked away in the cities, going to any athletic event or scootering around campus with her friends.  [email protected] | 720.425.5218

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    Margo PenkeFeb 24, 2024 at 3:50 pm

    “That’s My Granddaughter!”