The greatest threat to communication is the assumption that it has already taken place. 

I learned that quote this summer at the church camp at which I was employed. And it convicted me to apologize to you all – my faithful Penner’s pen-ers. I didn’t provide you with content last week. I didn’t communicate it to you. And I know I sorely let you down. I shall resolve to never do that again. 

So let’s talk Homecoming, yeah? 

Did it really have to be Heritage? You guys had all the fun of winning Homecoming last year, and you refused to give any of it to the rest of us. If this legacy continues into next year, I’m going to be upset. 

Oh, what’s that? The Homecoming events aren’t the sports you guys came to hear about? You don’t want me to rave about the performance of Thia Olson for Getsch’s powderpuff team? I can’t analyze the ingenuity of Edgren’s use of Bill Nye the Science Guy in their cheer? That probably means I can’t even mention my roommate and his co-RA who dressed up as purple Telletubbies for Lissner. 

Fine, I guess I’ll write about the actual stuff you want to hear. What a week of sports it was. 

– 

Football (6-0, 5-0): Rundell’s record-breaking performance powers Bethel blowout

Junior receiver Albert Rundell broke the Royals’ single-game receiving yards record. There’s only so much to talk about when this Bethel domination has become routine. A 64-10 win over St. Olaf is certainly no exception. 

So let’s talk about Rundell. I’ll give it to you straight. The former quarterback caught 11 passes for 246 yards and two touchdowns. That beats Bryce Marquardt’s 231 yards against Augsburg in 2014. 

Young, elementary-aged kids crowded around Rundell following the game to get his signature on their posters and mini BU footballs following the historic performance. 

“It’s really cool. Everything just came together,” Rundell said after his sixth autograph. “Cooper [Drews is] throwing great footballs. And I got the easy job. I just get to catch it.” 

The past few weeks, Bethel has relied heavily on its powerful rushing attack. The running back duo of David Geebli and Taye Manns dominate by physically punishing and wearing down opponents. It’s an effective strategy in Midwest football. 

This week, with a packed Royal Stadium watching the best Royals team since 2013, quarterback Cooper Drews led an electric passing attack – mainly to just Rundell – to put on a show. Drews completed four passes to receivers not named Albert Rundell, but efficiently put up 349 yards and three touchdowns. He also added his own rushing touchdown early in the game. 

Offensive starters finished their days after the first drive of the second half where they increased the score to 57-0. 

But blowouts, of course, aren’t possible without a dominant defensive performance. It looked dicey in the beginning. Head coach Mike McElroy’s squad allowed 33 rushing yards per game coming into Saturday, but by the end of the first drive the Oles had already totaled 34 rushing yards. 

St. Olaf’s drive, however, came to a screeching halt, if not a full-on ten-car pileup, when sophomore defensive back Nick Colyer snagged an off-target St. Olaf pass and returned it 61 yards for the game’s first score. 

The Oles still managed a respectable 114 total rushing yards, but two more timely interceptions, including a bobbled Devin Williams pick-six, as well as a Jake Borman blocked punt and safety, kept momentum on Bethel’s side all afternoon. At least, as long as the game was technically competitive and the starters were in. 

Both sides of the ball managed to stay focused, despite the routineness of Bethel’s blowout wins – a testament to McElroy’s leadership. 

“How do we make it about us and not let… the scoreboard dictate how we feel, whether good or bad,” McElroy said. “But it’s hard when you got a bunch of 18 year olds.” 

All signs point to more blowouts throughout for most of the rest of the season, but I trust Bethel can stay locked in. Keep an eye out for Carleton, though. They’re still undefeated in-conference and play St. John’s next week. Their offense looks unstoppable, much like Bethel’s. 

The two meet in Arden Hills Nov. 8. 

– 

Volleyball (9-8, 3-2): The growing pains are back

I was really encouraged by Bethel’s win versus St. Scholastica Wednesday. It took the Royals all five sets to do it, but seeing Peyton Howie, Hannah Penke and Sara Scherber register 20, 14 and 12 kills, respectively made me think the team was continuing to click the way I hoped they could. 

And that freshman setter. Have I mentioned her before? 50 assists for Sophia Rubio. It was all coming together. 

Even the five-set win itself speaks volumes. It takes a lot – grit, consistency, endurance – to beat any team in five sets. It’s always promising. 

Not that St. Scholastica is a bad team, either. Maybe that’s why I had such high hopes for the Gustavus game Saturday. 

Unfortunately, Bethel was outpaced and out-hit by the Gusties Saturday night in a three-set loss. 

“[Gustavus] did look like they’re a couple steps faster than us right now,” head coach Gretchen Hunt said. “I think we’re working hard in practice, but…we’re a couple steps slower right now.” 

Gustavus topped Bethel in total kills 54-31, mustered 21 more total attempts than the Royals and did it with a .239 hitting percentage, compared to Bethel’s .149. 

Hunt added that Bethel struggled to “manufacture kills” around Gustavus’ size – a quality which Bethel generally lacks, although the block numbers for both teams were identical. 

Ultimately, in a sped-up game, it comes down to experience, and much like last year, Bethel lacks that. Two more freshmen joined their fellow classmates – Rubio, Scherber and Houser – in the rotation Saturday night. Cali Johnson managed three digs in a quiet night while Cosette Carto added three kills on 20 attempts. 

“Sometimes as freshmen, you’re just not ready right away, but they’ve been practicing really well.” Hunt said. “So I felt like, if upperclassmen weren’t quite where we wanted them to be,  let’s try based on who’s practicing well.” 

There’s still time in the season to refine, but it’ll be on the wrong side of losses to likely the two best teams in the MIAC. 

– 

Men’s soccer (8-4-3, 4-3-1): Hope restored after losing streak ends

Don’t get me wrong; I’m still quite disappointed. A four-game losing streak is a four-game losing streak. No matter what four teams it’s against, any team looking to compete for the MIAC championship can’t lose those four games to St. Scholastica, Gustavus, Eau Claire and St. Olaf in a row. 

Ryan Swanda, defender and captain of the team, told me on Double Coverage that the four game stretch from Gustavus to Wednesday’s game against Augsburg was the most important one of their season, and they simply folded, for the most part. 

A 1-1 draw to MIAC second-place Augsburg isn’t the end of the world, and the Royals achieved their first win since Sept. 27 against Hamline 3-1 Saturday to stay afloat in the table. But the dominance of St. Olaf and Augsburg will likely be too much for the Royals to handle the rest of the way. 

Perhaps seeing those teams a second time in the playoffs will be what the Royals need to beat them for their coveted MIAC championship, but they’ll need to regain momentum in the rest of the regular season to stay on course. 

Women’s soccer (2-11-2, 2-5-1): A fun way to begin the end

Sometimes writing about women’s soccer this year is a similar struggle to the football team, but for a tragically different reason. 

A team whose season looked winless at the beginning of conference play, hardly has prospective playoff hopes to project. When it doesn’t score much, it has little player stats to highlight. 

But while playoff hopes are likely over for the Royals, it’s fun to not lose for a change. 

Jessica Oliver, Malia Beilby and Sarah Motalebi each scored goals in Bethel’s 3-1 win over Augsburg Tuesday, and the defense held things down in a 0-0 draw against Hamline Saturday. Hopefully all that made for some more positive vibes during family weekend. 

Since I seem to only have negative or passive aggressive things to say about this team, calling them uninteresting and whatnot, I’ll plug the team’s Instagram. Senior Lucy Stay is doing incredible work with Reels content, and the team is a joy to watch through that. 

And it’s clear that losses aren’t defining these players as people – an important part of the mental side of sports. 

– 

Thanks for joining me on this one. Again, sorry it’s been so long. I hope you enjoyed. 

Until next time, host an open house in your suite/dorm/apartment, eat a Caesar salad (even if you swear you don’t like salad) and go for a walk – while you still can. 

Love y’all.